Pretend Like You're Sleeping
by Lasympathetique
Summary: Ichimatsu just wants some extra shut-eye. He can't help it if his brothers are nosy. But when Osomatsu crosses the line, Ichimatsu is stuck with a terrible decision.
Light filtered gently through the pale blinds as the sun rose, and Ichimatsu wriggled deeper under the covers. He heard rustling as his brothers slowly woke up, slipping out from under the blanket and letting cold air leak in. Eyes firmly shut, Ichimatsu rolled over and mashed his face into his pillow.

 _If I was a cat, I could fit my whole body on this pillow_

Something uneasy stirred in Ichimatsu, and he struggled to remember if there was a reason everyone else was waking up early. No one bothered to shake him, so whatever it was, it couldn't be that important. There was probably nothing at all, and Ichimatsu was making a fuss about nothing. Best not to ask, in case he looked like an idiot.

 **BOOM**

 **BOOM**

The floor quivered as Jyushimatsu stomped around getting dressed. Ichimatsu stubbornly kept his eyes closed, instead of telling Jyu to calm down. He didn't want to cause a fuss. Let Jyu finish his business and then go to bed once he's finally gone. Besides, Ichimatsu knew Jyushimatsu wasn't being loud out of spite. It was simply the way he was, just Jyushimatsu. He had to accept it. Even if Jyushimatsu was made up of clangs, crashes, and bangs.

Karamatsu was speaking now. His voice was plenty loud, and as intrusive as the groan of a vacuum. Ichimatsu eavesdropped, despite the pillow smothering both of his ears. It wasn't like there was anything else to do, until everyone left and Ichimatsu could go back to bed.

"Didn't…blonde in the miniskirt…? But…with the sequins and...coconut oil is a great moisturizer …resist this muscle…"

 _Ugh, too painful_

Ichimatsu didn't bother to piece the conversation together. That was his own mistake, forgetting that any time spent on Karamatsu would result in a headache. Someone told Karamatsu to shut up. Ichi listened to his brothers bicker back and forth. It was strangely relaxing, like listening to the crash of ocean waves from a cliff. Far away enough so you knew the water wouldn't sweep you up and swallow you down.

"Is he still sleeping? Ichimatsu? Ichiiii?"

Todomatsu's voice rang like a bell. Something electric swept through Ichimatsu, and he was suddenly determined to remain still. Let Todomatsu think he was still was some fun in pretending to be asleep. Like a game.

"I dunno, kick him and find out?" Osomatsu suggested. It was impossible to tell whether or not he was joking.

Ichimatsu tensed, but no kick came. Instead, Choromatsu's plain voice responded.

"Let him sleep, it's only Sunday."

"Pffffft, yeah, like he's really asleep," scoffed Osomatsu. "You know how evil he is. I bet you a thousand yen he's only pretending to be asleep, so he can eavesdrop on us."

Oso, you're not as stupid as I thought

Choromatsu made a disapproving sound. "That's ridiculous. Where do you get these notions, Osomatsu?"

"You don't believe me? Let's find out." The smirk in Osomatsu's voice was obvious. "If Ichimatsu was really asleep right now, he wouldn't care if I told you about the time last week at that animal shelter. The one downtown? Oh boy, was it embarrassing. He doesn't even know I know, I walked in and turned around before he could even notice me."

Ichimatsu's blood froze.

Karamatsu interrupted with bravado. "Ichimatsu's been volunteering there for ages. And throughout my observations, I've noticed that our dear brother has an unusual affection for…" He paused for effect "….cats. We all know. Or at least, I know, because I'm a good brother and pay attention to my-"

"What's the big deal?" Todomatsu talked over Karamatsu like his older brother was a boring news program. "You got dirt on Ichimatsu?"

"HAH. Of course you'd be interested, Totty," said Osomatsu.

"What? No, I'm just curious."

"Face it," Osomatsu jeered. "You're just as conniving and low as the rest of us. Drop the act. It's okay, Totty. We're all brothers here."

"Exactly," Choromatsu cut in. "We're all brothers. So we should respect each other's privacy."

"You're still upset about the time I caught you jerking off, huh?"

Ichimatsu imagined Choromatsu's scowl. "Th-this isn't about that!"

Osomatsu laughed. "No, it's not. And if Ichimatsu wants his privacy respected," Oso's voice rose. "He shouldn't pretend to be asleep so he can creep on all his brother's private conversations."

"It's not like we were going to talk about him anyways," Choromatsu grumbled half-heartedly. "Who gossips at ten in the morning?"

"I see your point," said Osomatsu. " but listen to this- I have a really funny story about Ichimatsu."

Choromatsu waited. Then it clicked. "That's your whole argument?!"

"Yep," said Osomatsu proudly. "Now, do I get to tell it? Or are you all really so high-and-mighty that you won't listen to a –harmless- tale about your dear brother Ichimatsu?"

Choromatsu muttered something, but it was clear he'd thrown in the towel. _That prick!_

"So, tell us!" Karamatsu commanded. "If you know, it's only fair that the rest of us know Ichimatsu's terrible secret. It's our responsibility as brothers!"

"Yes, exactly," Totomatsu joined in, pouncing on the chance to recover his innocent persona. "This is for Ichimatsu's benefit."

"Why Totty, I'm so happy you agree with me! Finally seeing the light, huh?"

Todomatsu groaned, but Ichimatsu was at the edge of a cliff. Something cold ran down his back, and Ichimatsu realized he was sweating. His mind juggled a thousand ideas. If he pretended to wake up now, it would only confirm Osomatsu's suspicions and make him insufferable to live with. But if Ichimatsu stayed asleep, Osomatsu would reveal last week's incident. A shudder ran through him. The others would never leave him alone if they found out what had happened at the animal shelter, that he'd been-

"OI ICHIMATSU!"

Thunder and cymbals crashed into his eardrums. With a shout, Ichimatsu sprang awake as though he'd been slapped.

"AAHH! Wh- Jyushimatsu!"

Grinning ear to ear, Jyushimatsu towered over Ichimatsu. Hands thrust out and grabbed Ichimatsu by the shoulders, yanking him up. "BASEBALL PRACTICE! Muscle muscle, hustle hustle!"

Ichimatsu was ripped from the warmth of the blankets so quickly that a sharp pain shot down his neck. He feared whiplash. The world spun around him as light flooded his senses, and then Jyushimatsu was dragging him.

"Aww, Jyushimatsu!" Osomatsu groaned. "What'd you go and do that for?!"

"Hustle hustle!"

Before Ichimatsu could blink he felt his arms being lifted over his head and his pyjama top ripped off. A second later, Jyushimatsu shoved a purple hoodie over him. Thankfully, Ichimatsu caught his breath before Jyushimatsu reached for his pants.

"Get off! Jyushimatsu, get off! Are you stupid?!" Ichimatsu was panting.

"Muscle muscle!"

Osomatsu groaned loudly. "Aww what'd you go and do that for, Jyushimatsu?! You ruined the story!"

"What story?" Ichimatsu scratched his head, trying to look stupid.

Pursing his lips, Osomatsu scrutinized Ichimatsu with sharp eyes. Ichimatsu ignored the pounding in his throat and forced himself to stare back, half-lidded and empty-eyed. He couldn't breath. Every muscle in his body was tense.

"Tch. Nothing." Osomatsu looked away, unveiled disappointment rolling off him.

Relief almost collapsed Ichimatsu to the ground, but Jyushimatsu seized his arm and dragged him away. As they flew down the hall, Ichimatsu heard someone tell Osomatsu that he owed them a thousand yen. It was a spiteful victory. But then again, those were the best kinds. He wondered if Osomatsu would tell the others now that he was gone. Probably not. Osomatsu would enjoy hanging possible Ichimatsu blackmail over the heads of his brothers.

 _Vultures. All of them_

Jyushimatsu marched Ichimatsu straight to the beat-up ball diamond outside one of the elementary schools. No bases or any fancy white lines, but Jyushimatsu seemed pleased as he planted Ichimatsu at the pitcher's spot with a white ball in his hand.

Ichimatsu threw the first pitch without a fight. Normally he'd whine or complain. It must have surprised Jyushimatsu. Jyu didn't even swing when Ichimatsu chucked the ball at the catcher's net. But he did scramble after the fleeing baseball and toss it back to Ichi with a wide grin and no comment.

It was the grin that broke him, Ichimatsu decided, when unintentional words began to pour out of his mouth.

"The story Osomatsu has of me is bullshit. Not even that funny. At all."

"Yeah yeah, Ichi! Let's go, pitcher! Throw!"

Ichimatsu threw the ball. "I'm not even embarrassed. It's a dull story. Nothing. Osomatsu's an idiot."

Jyushimatsu swung hard and missed. He usually did.

"He'd probably telling the others right now. Annoying, useless asshole."

Jyushimatsu tossed him the ball.

"Fuck him. Seriously."

Jyushimatsu nodded. "Seriously, yeah. Throw the ball!"

Ichimatsu did, feeling his arm tighten. "Sadistic piece of shit. They all are. Fuck all of them."

"Yeah, all of them! Curveball, screwball, all the pitches!"

Ichimatsu shook his head and closed his eyes. "Why am I even telling you this?" he muttered to himself. "The only thing you understand is 'baseba-"

 **THWACK**

The hard ball hit Ichimatsu square in the chest, knocking the wind from him like a truck. He doubled over and wheezed.

"Shouldn't close your eyes!" He heard Jyushimatsu sing off in the distance. "Not during a game!"

Ichimatsu's chest was on fire. His eyes watered. Jyushimatsu had a good throwing arm.

"Shouldn't close your eyes," Jyushimatsu repeated cheerfully. "Not when you're awake." He poised with the bat, ready to swing.

Ichimatsu stared at him.

"Shouldn't pretend, it leads to bad things. Jyushimatsu knows. Hustle hustle! Pitch!"

Ichimatsu almost dropped the ball. He had no idea Jyushimatsu had even been listening to the other brothers, much less detect the truth.

He couldn't think of anything to say, so he threw the ball. Jyushimatsu swung and his bat whooshed through empty air. The ball landed with a thud behind him, untouched. Jyushimatsu tossed it back. Ichimatsu pitched it again.

 _WHOOSH_ **thud**

 _WHOOSH_ **thud**

 _WHOOSH_ **thud**

"I named some cats," Ichimatsu mumbled under his breath. "I named them after my brothers. Jyushimoewtsu is an Ocicat, two months old, rowdy. Likes to claw. He doesn't mean it though. He'll grow into them."

If Jyushimatsu thought Ichimatsu was lame, he didn't show it. Ichimatsu relaxed a little. "I thought…it might help me to get along with them. My brothers. When they piss me off, instead of their stupid faces, I'll picture the cats." Ichimatsu glanced at Jyushimatsu, unable to look his brother in the eye during the confession, but Jyushimatsu seemed fine. Ichimatsu sighed. "I won't adopt any of them. Sometimes I sneak one home in my shirt for a night, but he always goes back in the morning. They like being together, in the shelter. They're not outdoor cats."

"Is there Ichimeowtsu?"

"I am Ichimeowtsu."

"Ahh right, right! Hustle hustle!"

Ichimatsu threw the ball at Jysuhimatsu. When Jyushimatsu swung, there was a crack like lighting.

THWACK

The ball was a white blur as it soared through the air, over Ichimatsu's head, over the roof of the school and into oblivion.

"Yeah!" Jyushimatsu pumped his fist in the air. "Home-run!"

Ichimatsu couldn't help but agree.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I love giving Ichimatsu a hard time, and his relationship with Jyushimatsu is my favorite in the anime. This was fun to write, I hope it was fun to read. Please leave a review :)


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